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I salute Daddy and run out the back door, crossing the field between our two homes. The back door is still locked, so I urgently knock on the glass before Aunt Presley slides it open.
“Well, good morning, bud. I wasn’t expecting to see you so early today.”
“Can't talk Aunty P. Where’s Uncle Robert?”
“He’s still in bed asleep.” I roll my eyes, what is it with adults and sleeping in. I take off across the living room and down the hallway.
“Uncle Robert! Uncle Robert!” I barge into the bedroom, and Uncle Robert is already half naked, I guess he doesn’t sleep with a shirt on like Daddy. Well, I guess that’s okay, it just means he can get dressed quicker. Once again I pounce on the bed and kneel on his back, hands firmly planted on his shoulders and move my body side to side. “Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Daddy said we’re gonna build my tree house today!”
Uncle Robert growls while he does his morning stretches and I fall off his back. “Morning bud. What’s this about a tree house?” he asks while wiping the sleep from his eyes.
Aunty Presley giggles and I see her leaning against the bedroom door; how can these adults be so forgetful. “My tree house! Daddy said we can build it today and you get to help. It’s gonna be awesome!”
“Give me just a minute, bud. Uncle Robert is tired this morning.” I watch as he looks at Aunt Presley; maybe Cora didn’t sleep well last night in her big girl bed.
“Why?”
He chuckles and musses my hair. “Aunt Presley didn’t let me get any sleep last night. She wanted to...talk all night.”
I look back behind me and Aunt Presley is gone. I’m gonna have to talk to her about talking when you’re supposed to be sleeping. We’ve got important man stuff to do and I need both daddy and Uncle Robert in tip-top shape.
“Go wait for me in the kitchen bud, I’ll be out in a minute.”
I do as he says and am pleasantly surprised to find Cora awake and playing in the living room. “Good Morning my sweetie baby girl.”
She looks up from her baby doll, her big green eyes twinkle underneath the bright ceiling lights. “Wax!”
She toddles over to me and I kneel down on the floor to give her a good morning hug.
“Wax play dollies?”
I giggle as she places a baby doll in my arms. If the twins had done this, I would have dropped the doll on the floor, but I’d do anything for my Cora. “Just for a minute, okay? Today I get to start building my tree house.” I lower my voice to just above a whisper as she sits in my lap. “I promise to take you to it when you’re older and can climb. One day it will be just for us.”
She’s not listening anymore to me. Instead, she brings me a baby bottle and shows me how to feed the baby. I loved giving Cora bottles when she was younger; she made sweet noises as she ate, and her nose would scrunch up if she ran out before she was full. I pretend to feed the baby until Aunt Presley calls her over to her highchair for breakfast.
“Jax, do you want anything to eat?” Aunt Presley ask as she sets Cora’s plate in front of her.
“No, thank you. I already had Cheerios.”
“You ready little man?” Uncle Robert’s voice fills the kitchen as he once again messes with my straggly hair.
“I was born ready.” I say confidently.
Aunty Presley and Uncle Robert laugh at me before he kisses her on the cheek, and we head out the back door; two men on a mission.
By the time we get back to my house, Daddy is already in the garage. “Alright Jax. Mom says you have plans for how you want this tree house to look, so let’s see them.”
I pull the folded up plans out of my pocket and Daddy lays the sheet of paper out in front of him. “Wow.” He almost seems surprised at my drawing. I watch as him and Uncle Robert share glances back and forth in silence. “This was bigger than I was expecting, bud. I don’t know if we have the right trees for this project.”
“We do! I’ll show you! But we need to drive to it.”
Scratching his chin and running his large hand over his scruffy scruff, Uncle Robert rocks back and forth. “I don’t know if driving is such a good idea bud. I’m sure your mom would want you close to the house.”
As if I wouldn’t have already gotten permission from mommy on this particular spot; what do they think I am, an amateur? Mommy holds the key to my plan working. “I already showed her the spot, and she said it was fine.”
Daddy and Uncle Robert pass each other questioning glances, “Show us and we will discuss this with your mother, but we’re walking.”
I shrug my shoulders. “Fine by me, I just thought the truck was faster and we wouldn’t get as wet. It’s just over here.”
I lead Daddy and Uncle Robert to a group of trees about two million steps away from the house. Half of the trees are on our side of the fence, while the other half are on Uncle Robert’s side. I stand there envisioning my design created between the many branches of the cluster of trees. Daddy and Uncle Robert are behind me so they can't see the proud smile I wear, but I can hear their questioning conversation behind me.
“Looks like he’s already trying to join the two families.”
“Looks that way. I think your kid is smarter than you realize.”
Thanks, Uncle Robert. My teachers say I’m advanced for my age. I don’t take my eyes off of the trees while Daddy and Uncle Robert take measurements and then I race them back to the house.
Aunt Presley and Cora have come over since us men have been doing men’s work, and my sweet little girl is mustering through what looks like a boring playdate with Emma and Becca in the living room. All the adults are gathered in the kitchen and Mommy gives me a look that tells me to leave them alone.
This project is too big to risk a chance with, so I sit on the floor watching the girls play while still trying to listen in on the conversation, occasionally peeking over to them out of the corner of my eye.
“Did you guys figure out where you’re building this tree house?” Silly Mommy, you already know where.
“Yep.” Daddy is the king of one-word answers.
“And?” Aunt Presley is the best at pulling answers from people. Mommy says she makes lots of money by doing it and that it’s her special power. I wonder if I’ll ever get a special power.
“Liv,” Uncle Robert looks at mommy funny. “He said he already showed you.”
“Well, if he did, I don’t remember seeing it. I’m sure wherever he wants it is fine.”
Daddy and Uncle Robert look at each other and daddy hands him a beer. I’m not the police, but it seems awfully early for one of those.
“What? What’s wrong with it?”
“Liv, it’s that group of trees that connect the two properties.”
“Hon, it’s the complete opposite of what we’re trying to do.”
All the adults look at each other, but no one seems to say anything. They all seem weird. What’s the problem?
“Just build it,” Aunty Presley says finally, she’s the best. She gets it.
“You sure?”
Why is Uncle Robert trying to block my tree house? Mommy said yes, and Aunt Presley said yes. I know they are the real ones that run stuff.
She nods her head, and takes a deep breath, “Like you said, you can’t run from fate. You can just hope to slow it down a little.”
I’m gonna need to figure out who this fate person is. He or she sounds smart.
“Alright then,” Daddy’s hand hits the counter and I realize I’ve been staring longer than I should have. “We’ll go to the lumberyard after lunch and get everything ordered. Hopefully, they have someone there that can help us figure this out.”
I sit in the living room watching the girls play. Cora teeters about and tries to keep up with the twins, but they’re older and they’ve been walking longer. She gets frustrated and throws her toys down on the ground before coming to sit on my lap. Emma tries to get her to play dollies again, but she’s stubborn and won't move. Instead, I read to her from one
of my school readers until Mommy calls us for lunch.
Soon it’s just the three of us in Daddy’s truck. “Listen bud, this is gonna take a while to build, but we’ll work on it on the weekends, okay.”
“Okay. Will I still get to help with it?”
Uncle Robert turns in his seat as if that’s the most ridiculous question he’s ever heard. “Absolutely bud. After all, this is your house, you’re gonna have to make sure your daddy and I don’t mess it up. We’ll try really hard to have it done before I go back to Chicago, but it’s all gonna depend on the weather.”
I’d never envisioned not having my tree house by the time Cora left and that thought instills a slight amount of panic into me. “It has to be done before you leave! It just has to.”
“Jax.” Daddy does not sound pleased with my outburst. “We’re gonna try really hard, but no promises. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
Chapter Nineteen
Today is Thanksgiving Day.
Last week my teacher made everyone write what they were thankful for and draw a picture. Lots of kids drew pictures of their families, or their pets, Jace drew a picture of his X-Box, and a girl in my class drew a picture of tofurkey, whatever that is, but I left my paper blank. Something was going on with my family, I could feel it deep in my bones. I had almost wished we had school over Thanksgiving, at least that would give me some sense of normalcy; if I had school then maybe I wouldn’t feel so heartbroken and alone.
The weather has been cold and gloomy almost all week and nothing has been done on the tree house, an outward expression to an inward feeling I guess. Daddy and Uncle Robert managed to get a few boards in place right after the lumber was delivered, but that’s about it. Mommy seems to keep setting up playdates at Jace’s house and she promises Mrs. May to have Jace over just as soon as the tree house is done.
Cora plays with the twins, a lot.
It’s never been like this before. Usually I’m allowed to go over to Cora’s whenever I want, and I always get to put her to bed, but not anymore. Cora’s been back a month now and with the exception of the first night, I haven’t gotten to tuck her in at all.
I asked my teacher who fate was; she just laughed at me. She said that fate was a series of predestined events. I asked what predestined meant and she said it was a promise the universe puts out into the world. I’m confused.
I try to watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV, but the twins are squabbling over some stupid toy. Daddy is trying to help Mommy in the kitchen with dinner but they’re arguing over how many marshmallows to put on the sweet potatoes, the answer is all of them, big and small, sweet potatoes are yucky. Eventually Aunt Presley and Uncle Robert will be here for dinner with Cora, but they’ve probably concocted a way to keep us apart.
I slide from the couch and make my way to the back door. I feel like it would just be better if I were to disappear. “I’m going outside” I say glumly to no one in particular. Mommy tells me to put a jacket on and not to go too far. I don’t know why it even matters. Nothing I want seems to matter. But I do as I’m told and eventually make my way down to the tree house, carefully climbing up the steps and sit on the edge, dangling my legs off the side.
A blustery wind whips around me, seeping marrow deep. Try as it might to cause a shiver, it has no effect on the cold that I am already cocooned in. It’s a lonely wind and I can almost feel its agonizing pain, we’re the same. It stings my tear-stained cheeks as I throw my head up to the sky and wait.
“Gram? Something doesn’t feel right. Why can't I see Cora? Does she not like me? Did I do something wrong?” My words come out in broken phrases as the wind steals the questions from my lips and I imagine them floating off to wherever Gram is.
Then, as soft as a whisper, her voice circles around me. “Don’t give up little one. You’re doing great.”
“Why can’t I love her like I used to?”
“You will. She won’t forget you. I won't let her.”
“You gave her to me, and Aunt Presley is taking her away. Can’t you give them another baby?”
“All in good time little one, all in good time.”
“Jackson! Jax, where are you bud?” Uncle Robert’s voice drifts along in the wind, and soon I spot him coming down the hill.
“Jax, come on down buddy. You know you’re not supposed to be up there yet. It’s not safe for you.”
“No!” I scream back at him as loud as my lungs will allow. I’m done being told what to do by stupid adults.
“Jackson.” Uncle Robert has never used a stern voice with me. “Come. Down. Now.”
“You think you know what’s right, but you’re wrong! You’re all wrong!” I swing my legs away from the ledge and scurry down the steps, pumping my legs as fast as I can away from Uncle Robert, but he’s too fast. Stupid baseball.
“Hey come here.” His behemoth of a hand grips tight to my shoulder, slowing my pace.
“Leave me alone.” He wraps his giant arms around me, pulling me close, and despite my best efforts to be a strong little man, I start to cry into his chest. “I haven’t been bad. Why can’t I see her?”
“See who?”
Please tell me my uncle isn’t as dumb as a box of rocks.
“Cora! You don’t even let me tuck her in anymore. Did I do something wrong?”
His monster hand presses hard against my head as he smooths over my hair, a hard kiss to my crown at least helps to lessen the feeling that I did something wrong. His lips graze over my hair as he talks into me, “No Jax, you have done nothing wrong. You just keep being that sweet little boy that you are. This has nothing to do with you. One day you’ll understand when you’re older.”
“Then can I come over more?” I say while whipping my nose across his shirt.
“What about Jace? I think he would miss you if you guys didn’t play together as much. He might even feel hurt.” I know what this old man is doing, but it’s not gonna work with me. My mommy is the queen of manipulation, I can spot it a mile away.
“You mean like I feel hurt not getting to spend time with Cora?” Uncle Robert swallows big, and I can see the little bump in his throat bounce up and down.
“Come on, bud. It’s getting chilly out here and I think your mom and Aunt Presley are just about done with all the food. Let’s get back inside before we miss all the good stuff.”
I roll my eyes at his deflection. Stupid adults. I drag my feet on the way back. I am in no way pleased about my current situation, or the fact that Uncle Robert just skipped over me coming over to see Cora more. “She’s mine you know.” I growl out, which sounded pretty cool, and I almost scarred myself at the tone.
Uncle Robert chuckles and grips the back of my neck, “I know bud.”
“Gram gave her to me. And just because I’m five doesn’t mean I don’t know what love is.”
He grips me tighter and stops our walk. Crouching down to the ground, he raises my eyes to look into his. “Jax,” he looks off to the side and then drops his head, taking a few breaths before once again looking at me, “I believe you love Cora. But Aunt Presley and I, your mommy and daddy, we want you to have fun being a little boy. We want you to climb trees and get dirty, we want you to grow up the way you’re supposed to, the way other little boys do. We don’t want you to miss out on fun opportunities because Cora is younger than you.
“Aunt Presley and I will take care of Cora for now. We are her parents and she is our responsibility.
“I know it’s hard to understand right now, but you just worry about making friends and learning lots, and one day Cora will be very lucky to have you watching out for her.”
“But it’s not fair! I don’t want to be like other boys. Other boys are mean.” My lip quivers thinking about Jace and the way he treats the girls at school, other boys too, I don’t want to be like them. He laughed at me and said I had cooties.
“I know, buddy.” He pulls me tightly into a hug, but not before I see a tear run down hi
s face. “Trust me; I know.”
* * *
Walking back up to the house with Jax is harder than I could have imagined. Nothing could have prepared me for the conversation we would have. He knew what was going on, he had figured it out.
As he threw question after question at me about if he had been bad and why we wouldn’t let him over, I began to relive the first year Mom and I were on the run. Years of repressed emotions clawed to break free. I came clean with Presley once I figured things out, but there were still emotions I hadn’t dealt with, and until ten minutes ago, I had no intentions of ever dealing with them.
I was always waiting on Presley to show up. I waited. And waited. Until the day Mom told me, I would probably never see her again. What had I done wrong? Why was this happening? I may have been young, but I knew at that point I would always love her. That I would try to always protect her. And now, here was Jax, in the same position I had been in, asking himself those same questions.
How could I do this to such a young child? Presley was mine from an early age, and that Thanksgiving I almost lost her, I knew then and there that mothers be damned. She was my responsibility.
A tiny voice pulls me from the ghost of my past and I realize we’re back at the house already.
“You coming in, Uncle Robert?”
“Yea. In just a minute.” Jax gives me a confused glance but pulls open the back door, “Hey Jax,” he stops and looks back at me, “I want you to tuck Cora in every night that you want to okay?” His smile stretches a mile wide and I can't help but to reciprocate it.
“Really? You really really mean it?”
“Yea.” His small body trembles out of excitement and I know I’ve made the right decision. “Hey bud, will you ask Aunt Presley to come outside real quick?”
He gives me a little salute and then runs over to me, wrapping his thin arms around my waist, squeezing tight. “You’re the best, Uncle Robert.” I chuckle back while mussing his hair. If you only knew Jax. If you only knew.
A few minutes pass by before Presley steps through the back door, her arms wrapped around her body, rubbing her upper arms for heat. “Babe, its cold outside. What are we doing out here? Why did you want me to come outside?” She looks as confused as ever; but I pray she’ll see my side of things.